Facing Facts

Facing facts...what to do when life isn't perfect.
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No one likes hearing bad news, but unless you live in a bubble, it's fairly unavoidable. No, scratch that -- even completely internal realizations can be stumbling blocks. We have certain preconceptions about who we are, who others are and how life works. When you discover a glitch in the blueprint, you have to scramble to adapt the plan. Trust that you and your decisions will be stronger for it. Here are a few reminders on how to cope with unexpected let-downs.

Do:

Process

Ignorance is hardly bliss. Yet our first instinct is to ignore an unpleasant reality for as long as possible. We stay in relationships long after they're over, put a happy face on strained friendships and pursue careers we don't really want. Resist the urge to bury your head in the sand. Telling yourself to "just get over it" is an unrealistic. Grieving -- whether you're grieving a friend, a relationship or a dream -- is an active process. Write in a journal. Even people who don't do any personal writing can find it a helpful way through a crisis. Talking to friends or to a trusted advisor is another crucial coping skill that can accelerate your process. Remember, we usually have to see a scenario from multiple angles before we can truly accept it. Talking your way through the problem, even if it seems repetitive, is an effective way to come up with solutions for those things we can change and accept those we cannot.

Don't:

Dwell

The process is important, but giving yourself permission to explore a crisis fully is not the same as locking yourself in a room with it. Stay busy. If you're holed up somewhere thinking about it, it's not long before your bad news takes center stage. You don't have to work through it all at once, and you don't have to do it alone. Your mind will still be churning when you're on the treadmill, at the movies and on the beach with friends.

Do:

Move On

Once you come to a conclusion, take your own advice. Take steps to solve the problem or commit to accepting the loss. You relationship isn't working out? Start that dialogue with your partner, and begin looking ahead. Your job isn't making you happy? Search for new opportunities, even new career paths. Just getting a glimpse of what else is out there can keep you from feeling like you're at a dead end.

The most important step in dealing with unwanted information is to understand that life always moves forward. No matter how conflicted you are, what seems devastating today will be another chapter in your story tomorrow. And whether or not it is obvious at the time, every crisis is an opportunity to define yourself. We only think we want life to be easy; it's challenges make us who we are.

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Have a good day,

here's to the challenge!

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

Harmony vs. Balance...what works for you?

People talk about the importance of finding balance in their complicated and unpredictable lives but some argue that balance is in fact over rated, and that in order to achieve happiness, it's better to shake things up."Balance is bogus," says James Ray, President and CEO of James Ray International, a multimillion dollar corporation dedicated to teaching individuals to create wealth in all areas of their lives (www.jamesray.com).

"Look at a scale in perfect balance: nothing is happening... it's stagnant... there's no movement... there's no progress... in fact, there's no life at all."Harmony is where it's at. Only when all areas of one's life are in accord can true wealth be obtained, adds Ray. Trying to achieve balance is unrealistic and sets you up for failure, adds Alicia M. Rodriguez, a Leadership Coach and founder of Sophia Associates."This is because balance is a duality that creates an 'either/or' dynamic." For example, you can go to work and forge a career, or you can become a stay-at-home-mom. The myth of balance imposes unrealistic expectations. You are limited by whether you are in balance (good) or out of balance (bad).

Harmony, on the other hand, is like a jazz band, suggesting a combination of sounds from voices or musical instruments. It's a diverse synergistic experience that allows flexibility, expansion and contraction, says Ray.Think of Mother Earth; harmony is created even out of chaos. Nature's harmony takes into account the "whole" system, not merely one or two aspects. Harmony allows for more choices and empowers us with a greater capacity to ease elegantly through the challenges of life.

Ways to Achieve Harmonic Wealth:
Check in With Yourself

Harmony is impossible if you are living a life full of regrets or if you are a workaholic who lacks love and intimacy. You need to 'water' your life along with your friends and family. As Dr. Janet Maccaro, an expert in women's health and nutrition reminds us, your biography becomes your biology.
Step away from your life a bit and begin to think of the how the many aspects of your life are inter-related. Feel confident that you can adjust fluidly to challenges.

Adapt without guilt or judgment.

Harmony will enable you to feel that you have more choices available to you and that no one area of your life needs to take the brunt of the additional strain of life's unexpected challenges.
"Stop, look, and listen to your inner voice.

Understand that life is a journey of self discovery that can only be experienced when you take the time to rise and meet the challenge of finding out what makes you tick and what has been making you sick," says Maccaro.

Five Pillars

Think of life's key areas: Financial, relational, mental (intellect and emotions), physical and spiritual. These pillars however will never be equally strong all the time (read: balanced). And that's a great thing. If they were, life would be unchanging and--yawn--incredibly boring.
To create what Ray calls 'harmonic wealth,' start by realizing that "all five areas must have some attention all the time - not that all areas demand all your attention all the time."
To do this, ask probing questions to get a sense of where you stand and where chaos may be brewing. Recognize where surpluses and deficits exist and then shift your energy as needed. Forget the notion of not being 'good enough.' Being a complete human being requires unpredictability. That's what makes us grow. "It's like playing jazz, which has less to do with creating planned melodies and more with improvising interesting nuances," says Ray. "Variation makes a composition exciting and the same is true with life."

If we consistently think in terms of maintaining harmony, instead of balance, we can also put in place additional reserves of energy, time, money or resources for those times when we are met with the unexpected. When the crisis or event is over, we can then adjust back as needed but we have not burdened ourselves with whether it was good or bad… it just was.

***

Have a harmonious day.

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

My post for today...

You got it...it's at my "other" blog.

I am so busy with the new show...I am wondering why I started another blog in the first place?

Maybe because I am crazy?!

Whatever it is...I will probably... for the next few weeks (I am really overwhelmed with work right now), be posting at my other blog...so please visit me there and I will get back to this one asap. This is my more just personal... not art related blog...and I don't plan to advertise or anything here...just my thoughts...but I can only do so much at a time and do it well...so everything will have to be bunched up over at the BAD! Kitty Blog...

so again I will be back here soon, (don't abandon me, please!)

but till then check me out

HERE:>

Love to all,

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

Check this out!

It's really freaky how this worked...everytime. Have fun

The Flash Mind Reader

Have a good day!

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

My post for the day

My post for today is at my other blog,

read it here.

Have a good one,

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

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Free yourself and lose the baggage

Above photo by: HMBT

(aka BAD! Kitty)

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It isn't helping you...your mental baggage that is.

In fact, the insidious regret from the last couple decades that has slithered its way into you, even now threatens to cloud your perspective, hinder your decision making, and disturb your peace of mind. So why are you still lugging it around? It's yours.

You have the power to do with it what you will -- whether that's cling to your shabby mental baggage for life or cast it away for good. Just in case you decide on the latter, here are a few tips on clearing the air.

Regrets

The only possible application for regret is that it helps us resolve not to repeat mistakes. Outside of that, it has no purpose. Regret comes too late to affect an outcome, and it can leave you blind to opportunity and paralyzed with self-doubt. Acknowledge that which you would have done differently -- or rather that which you will do differently in the future -- and let it go. It's been said many times by many people wiser than I: it's the things you don't do that you regret. When you can forgive yourself your humanity and your past mistakes, you'll be free to live a life you won't have to regret not living.
Fear

Fear is the future tense of regret. And like regret, it offers little benefit and worlds of hurt. Don't let fear hide in justification; one of is most destructive qualities is that it's destructive. I can't try that now, I'm too busy with this. I would do that, but it's not in my nature. They say you should live your life as if you were not afraid. As if you were not. We are all afraid of something.

Acknowledge your fears and your doubts, then pursue what you want anyway.

The big misconception is that people who are brave live without fear, when without fear there could be no courage.

Be afraid and Act anyway.
Visualize

Since "letting go" of unwanted regrets and fears is easier said than done, sometimes a tool or two can be helpful. Visualization is a technique used by athletes, therapists and artists, and it can be a powerful tool in ridding yourself of negative influences on your thinking. Be patient and open-minded. Changing your thinking doesn't happen overnight, but it is possible if you believe in your ability to change.

Choose a memory of a regret that you often think of or a criticism you often have of yourself. It helps if the example is something you can see, like a specific incidence or a particular scenario you fear.

Concentrate until the image is clear in your mind including the visual details, sounds and emotions.

Then watch the entire scene get smaller and smaller, until is disappears entirely. If it's clearer for you, you can place it in a box and send it out to sea or blow it up and watch the fragments scatter through the air.

Another application of visualization is the reinstatement of your positive, powerful thoughts.

Picture yourself as you believe you can be -- as confident, beautiful, compassionate and competent as your fullest potential can yield.

Use all the detail you used in the past exercise and visualize yourself in the life you want. It may sound a little abstract, but it's a technique that has been proven effective time and again. Your brain is susceptible to repetition, digging deeper and deeper trenches of belief the more an idea is reinforced.

Visualization is one way of reversing the regret and doubt you've been feeding yourself and reinforcing your own power over your thoughts.
Replace bad habits with good ones

Change is not a passive activity.

You can't will away bad habits (it's like telling yourself not to think about the elephant) but you can instate a positive habit every time you feel those negative thoughts rearing their heads.

Replace self-criticism with self-praise.

When you feel like despairing, look for the opportunity that has come from your disappointment.

Embrace your fear, and acknowledge the courage it takes to act anyway.

You can't just pledge to stop eating so many empty carbs; you have to replace them with fruits and satisfying proteins and fats.

If you're tired of doubting yourself, you have to create a new mantra to replace your silent self criticism.

If you lie awake berating yourself for what you haven't done,

concentrate instead on what you have accomplished.
Purge

Purging physical baggage can help reinforce your mental exorcism.

Have you ever experienced that feeling of lightness or freedom once you clean out a closet or reorganize a garage?

Our stuff surrounds us; it's in our way and in our periphery whether we actively acknowledge it or not.

Tell yourself you're adopting a new outlook, free of the past and the future, and make changes to your space to emphasize and empower your choice.

Get rid of everything you don't need.

Put them in storage if you must, but get them out of your way.

And by all means, if you have remnants of old relationships and haunts from the past, dispel!

You'll feel free of the stuff that's been holding you back, and you'll have made room for your new, empowered endeavors.

***

Here's to a lighter load for us all.

Free yourself and let the world see who you really are...

we all need you.

Share the love,

Heather

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com/

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The Prosperity Game

http://www.choosingprosperity.com/game/index.php

I am playing with my future. I am creating the mindset that I can be, do and create any life I want to have. I am re-programming my mind and energy for success.

One of the tools I am using for the energy shift is this game.

I love the way it makes me feel and makes stretch from the inside out. I recommend it all.

May the world be a comfortable and welcoming place for you today.

Here's to the journey!

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

Support Living Artists

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Today's thoughts

I posted at my "other" blog today...click here to read it. Whew! What a day and it's only just begun...Love to all.

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

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The traits of highly sensitive people

Do busy, noisy environments easily overwhelm you? Do you often need to take refuge in a quiet place or a darkened room? Do you react emotionally to music and art? Do you purposely avoid violent movies or images? Are you extra-sensitive to sounds, scents and tastes? Do you get flustered when people try to make you do too many things at once?

If you answered yes to any or most of these questions, it's possible you could be what Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., calls a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). In her book, The Highly Sensitive Person: How To Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, Dr. Aron provides insight into this trait and offers tips to help HSPs deal with a world that isn't always very sensitive to their needs.

HSPs are largely unacknowledged and often misunderstood. Many HSPs are labeled shy or introverted at an early age and pressed to be more outgoing. "Buck up" and "Don't be so sensitive" are phrases all too often heard by HSPs.

In fact, shyness and introversion are misnomers. You may really be quite outgoing and fearless, but your high-sensitivity requires you to keep a lower profile.

An HSP has an extra-sensitive nervous system that's easily over-stimulated and over-aroused. Dr. Aron writes, "What is moderately arousing for most people is highly arousing for HSPs." Dr. Aron estimates that 15-20% of the population falls into the highly sensitive category. She emphasizes that the trait is most likely inherited. If you think you might be an HSP, chances are that one or both of your parents are as well.

Though high sensitivity poses a challenge for HSPs and can make survival a bit harder, there are also many benefits. HSPs are generally:

Extremely conscientious
Good at deep concentration
Able to analyze their own process of thinking
Good at catching and avoiding errors
Good at holding still
Attuned to other people's moods and emotions
Creative thinkers
Able to learn without realizing they are learning
Able to process information at deep levels
Attracted to spiritual paths that help them find inner calm

But HSPs are also slower to recover from stimulating experiences and can even "shut down" in crisis situations. When in a state of over-arousal HSPs generally do not perform at their best. It's necessary for HSPs to learn to be sensitive to

their own sensitivity.

Neutral Bliss

The best state for an HSP is a neutral one -- neither over-aroused nor under-aroused. Though HSPs must protect themselves and adopt healthy coping techniques, the solution is not one of absolute avoidance. When in an over-stimulating situation, some of these techniques can help HSPs cope:

If appropriate, physically remove yourself from the situation.
Try to remember similar situations you have dealt with successfully in the past. Pick out what is familiar and friendly in your current situation; shift your focus.
If appropriate, close your eyes to shut out some of the stimulation.
Take a break.

Venture outdoors.

Nature, fresh air and natural light can work wonders.
Drink a glass of water, walk near water, take bath, sit in a hot tub.

Water is soothing and relaxing.
Regulate your breathing and adjust your posture.
Get your body moving.

Try some easy stretches.

Walk around the room.

Head to the bathroom just to take a short walk.
Repeat a phrase, mantra or prayer that you have come to associate with calm.

Watch your over-arousal from an objective standpoint. HSPs are generally very good at watching themselves. Place yourself outside of yourself. You can say things like, "This is a tough situation for her, but she'll feel better about it tomorrow."

Learn from your own experience.
Embrace yourself in the situation.

Be gentle, forgiving.

If you still feel over-aroused, do not blame yourself.

Developing skills for handling over-arousal takes time.

Diversity

But what about the rest of us?

Are you saying we're all insensitive?

Absolutely not. There are plenty of people who wouldn't classify themselves as HSPs, but are loving, creative, sensitive people.

They are just rigged differently. There is a reason why the majority of the population falls into this category. They are the doctors, stockbrokers and fire fighters. In addition, there is a reason why we have HSPs. They are the counselors, teachers, editors, poets and spiritual guides.

It's essential for HSPs to be active participants in life, but they also need to know their limits. Whether it's a radio or the TV, sometimes turning the stimulus off is the best option. Situations that don't have an "Off" switch require your abundant creativity and presence of mind. Though being an HSP is challenging in today's fast-paced world, it's also a great blessing, allowing one to experience life on a very special, rewarding level.

***

Hello my name is Heather and I am a HSP.

It's something I have had to learn to deal with and at times control. I also find that because I am sensitive, I can over-react in anger, fear, and nasty-ness when I feel threatened...it's not pretty. I am still learning to cope with myself, but as I continue to embrace all the many parts of me, I find it's easier to deal with these issues as they arise; as in...in the moment. Also, not stuffing down any feeling, be it good or bad is something that helps too. If I encounter a "situation" and I am all ready overwhelmed...watch out...it's Heather-Pie all over the place. But if I live in the moment, good and bad...fully...then when things happen (as they always do) I find that it is so much easier to get through it with grace and grit.

So, I hope you all are having a great day, I am off to the studio...to do the art thing. Live well, and share your love today.

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

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Getting yourself out of that hole!

Feel like you're living the same bad day, over and over again? You're not alone. Sometimes life can start to feel a bit like the Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day. Every morning you rise, face the same people and inevitably, the same problems. But like Bill Murray's character, you can turn things around and start fresh by focusing on the real source of your angst: yourself.

Here are some tips for facing your shadow and embracing rebirth.

Step Outside
You'll never break the bad patterns in your life - and move on to happier, healthier days - if you don't take the first step toward change. Groundhogs spend all winter underground lazing around in a warm, dark, cozy nest. So why do they crawl out from their comfortable homes to what could be a cold, gray day? They do it because sometimes, just sometimes, they discover a bright blue, sunshine filled sky.
Just like a groundhog, you'll need to step outside of your comfort zone if you're really ready to make a change. Reconsider what's important in your life. Try something you've always wanted to try. Make a new friend. Push your limits. Instead of seeing each day as a repeat of the day before, imagine it as a new adventure waiting to unfold.

Face the Shadow
You can blame your parents, your finances, or your S.O., but at the end of the day, your life is your own. Regardless of where you are now or how you got there, it's important to take responsibility for your mistakes in the past - and find ways to avoid them in the future.
Like a groundhog facing his shadow, it's time to take stock of your life. Pay attention to the patterns in your life - and the emotions that caused you to create the patterns. If you always tend to date (or fall in love with) the same kind of (wrong) man/woman, ask yourself why. If you continually make the same mistakes at work, consider what's motivating those missteps. If you're not sure where to begin, consider talking with a trusted friend, a counselor or coach.

Make Your Move
After you've confronted your shadow, it's time to make a move. Depending on what you discover about yourself, you may be scared, confused and tempted to dig back into your hole (like a groundhog facing six more weeks of winter) and stay underground for a while. But now is not the time to hide!
If you can't seem to break negative cycles with your life-partner, consider taking a break from him/her. If you're not moving forward professionally, start planning the move to your next position. Even though these risks are scary, taking them is the first step in beginning the rest of your life. Without risk, there is no promise of something better!
So, pop your head out of your hole, put your face to the sun and start a new day - today and every day after it.

***

Live, Live, Live!

And have a great and sunny day.

Heather

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com