Thursday, February 08, 2007

The traits of highly sensitive people


Do busy, noisy environments easily overwhelm you? Do you often need to take refuge in a quiet place or a darkened room? Do you react emotionally to music and art? Do you purposely avoid violent movies or images? Are you extra-sensitive to sounds, scents and tastes? Do you get flustered when people try to make you do too many things at once?


If you answered yes to any or most of these questions, it's possible you could be what Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., calls a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). In her book, The Highly Sensitive Person: How To Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, Dr. Aron provides insight into this trait and offers tips to help HSPs deal with a world that isn't always very sensitive to their needs.


HSPs are largely unacknowledged and often misunderstood. Many HSPs are labeled shy or introverted at an early age and pressed to be more outgoing. "Buck up" and "Don't be so sensitive" are phrases all too often heard by HSPs.

In fact, shyness and introversion are misnomers. You may really be quite outgoing and fearless, but your high-sensitivity requires you to keep a lower profile.

An HSP has an extra-sensitive nervous system that's easily over-stimulated and over-aroused. Dr. Aron writes, "What is moderately arousing for most people is highly arousing for HSPs." Dr. Aron estimates that 15-20% of the population falls into the highly sensitive category. She emphasizes that the trait is most likely inherited. If you think you might be an HSP, chances are that one or both of your parents are as well.

Though high sensitivity poses a challenge for HSPs and can make survival a bit harder, there are also many benefits. HSPs are generally:

Extremely conscientious
Good at deep concentration
Able to analyze their own process of thinking
Good at catching and avoiding errors
Good at holding still
Attuned to other people's moods and emotions
Creative thinkers
Able to learn without realizing they are learning
Able to process information at deep levels
Attracted to spiritual paths that help them find inner calm

But HSPs are also slower to recover from stimulating experiences and can even "shut down" in crisis situations. When in a state of over-arousal HSPs generally do not perform at their best. It's necessary for HSPs to learn to be sensitive to

their own sensitivity.

Neutral Bliss
The best state for an HSP is a neutral one -- neither over-aroused nor under-aroused. Though HSPs must protect themselves and adopt healthy coping techniques, the solution is not one of absolute avoidance. When in an over-stimulating situation, some of these techniques can help HSPs cope:


If appropriate, physically remove yourself from the situation.
Try to remember similar situations you have dealt with successfully in the past. Pick out what is familiar and friendly in your current situation; shift your focus.
If appropriate, close your eyes to shut out some of the stimulation.
Take a break.

Venture outdoors.

Nature, fresh air and natural light can work wonders.
Drink a glass of water, walk near water, take bath, sit in a hot tub.

Water is soothing and relaxing.
Regulate your breathing and adjust your posture.
Get your body moving.

Try some easy stretches.

Walk around the room.

Head to the bathroom just to take a short walk.
Repeat a phrase, mantra or prayer that you have come to associate with calm.

Watch your over-arousal from an objective standpoint. HSPs are generally very good at watching themselves. Place yourself outside of yourself. You can say things like, "This is a tough situation for her, but she'll feel better about it tomorrow."

Learn from your own experience.
Embrace yourself in the situation.

Be gentle, forgiving.

If you still feel over-aroused, do not blame yourself.

Developing skills for handling over-arousal takes time.

Diversity

But what about the rest of us?

Are you saying we're all insensitive?

Absolutely not. There are plenty of people who wouldn't classify themselves as HSPs, but are loving, creative, sensitive people.

They are just rigged differently. There is a reason why the majority of the population falls into this category. They are the doctors, stockbrokers and fire fighters. In addition, there is a reason why we have HSPs. They are the counselors, teachers, editors, poets and spiritual guides.

It's essential for HSPs to be active participants in life, but they also need to know their limits. Whether it's a radio or the TV, sometimes turning the stimulus off is the best option. Situations that don't have an "Off" switch require your abundant creativity and presence of mind. Though being an HSP is challenging in today's fast-paced world, it's also a great blessing, allowing one to experience life on a very special, rewarding level.

***

Hello my name is Heather and I am a HSP.

It's something I have had to learn to deal with and at times control. I also find that because I am sensitive, I can over-react in anger, fear, and nasty-ness when I feel threatened...it's not pretty. I am still learning to cope with myself, but as I continue to embrace all the many parts of me, I find it's easier to deal with these issues as they arise; as in...in the moment. Also, not stuffing down any feeling, be it good or bad is something that helps too. If I encounter a "situation" and I am all ready overwhelmed...watch out...it's Heather-Pie all over the place. But if I live in the moment, good and bad...fully...then when things happen (as they always do) I find that it is so much easier to get through it with grace and grit.

So, I hope you all are having a great day, I am off to the studio...to do the art thing. Live well, and share your love today.

Heather


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11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah there it is. I read this once and totally identified with it. I wanted to post it but couldn't find it again. Or maybe I want to put it on a t-shirt for everyone to see. :)

Thanks for posting!

Sweet and Salty said...

I'm not a HSP but I do know someone who fits the part. I'm going to share this with her and see what she thinks.

Thanks

Anonymous said...

Hi, my name is Amber and I am a recovering HSP. :) I've been working on this for about 4 years now and it finally seems to kicking in and staying! Yay!

Heather said...

well I guess I am recovering too, by definition...I figured this out about myself about five years ago...and it's been a relief to find out that I am not alone in this, and that there are was to work with it...and even make it work FOR you instead of aginst you. Thanks to all of you for commenting here!

G said...

Very interesting, some of it I quite identify with.

Anonymous said...

I am working on recovery myself :)

I can highly reccomend to other hsp out there the value of ear plugs, sun glasses or visors (for light of course which is a major trigger for me), if touch is a big one consider using a good moisturizer, for me it kind of dulls the sensations a bit and if scented can ease some of the smell triggers.

feel free to email me to comisserate if you like I love to email like minded folks..

acircle@ymail.com

Anonymous said...

March 2009. My life as an ESP has been hell, and mostly because I never knew what I was dealing with. I just hope I can make it through the roughest part I've faced yet; menopause. Peri-menopause was tough but this, the anxiety and depression episodes are a nightmare. I'm working w/a Chinese doctor but the treatments take time to get the body back on track as my system is so out of whack. Conventional hormones are out of the question. So to anyone who's "normal" out there, thank your lucky stars and be extra supportive of anyone in your life who's dealing w/these kinds of issues. It's much harder than you can imagine.

Anonymous said...

I am 16 and I just found out that I may be an HSP. The way I react to overwhelming emotions is different from everyone else. I am also more sensitive and always wondered why I did what I did without wanting to do it. Once I found out I could be one, it freaked me out a little. I am willing to learn to cope with it, but I don't know how hard it will be. I am so releaved I am not alone...

Anonymous said...

I am an HSP and I am NOT in recovery! Being HSP brings many, many gifts that, while society may not value, I do. I enjoy being able to "read" people, enjoy nature music and art at a level many do not. So many gifts! So what if I have to hide sometimes. Drink defac, kill the fluorescent lights and embrace the gift you are given. Others do not experience the world the way we do, and many of them miss half of what is going on around them.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! I just discovered a few days ago that there is a term (HSP) that describes me, and it's not a term that means broken or crazy or wrong. I've been called and categorized as "gifted" my whole life and I still consider my HSP traits as positives. We ARE different, and different in amazing, wonderful, incredible ways that other people who are non-HSP would LOVE to be.

That said, I'm sure there are many HSP who have developed coping skills or patterns that are not healthy and positive and I empathize (is that a pun now?)deeply with those people. I've been lucky enough to have found ways and information at the right times in my life that have allowed me to feel that my differences were "gifts" rather than curses. If any "recovery" is necessary, it's from those negative habits, and embracing who and what you are is essential to becoming whole and happy being an HSP.

Unknown said...

How does one HSP make friends ?? I'm so guarded and have had so many negative and mean ppl in my life that now i am just a closed box. No personality I am a walking , working blob. I don't even laugh anymore. I hate being a HSP.