I posted at my "other" blog today...click here to read it. Whew! What a day and it's only just begun...Love to all.
Heather
Support Living Artists
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Saturday, February 10, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
The traits of highly sensitive people
Do busy, noisy environments easily overwhelm you? Do you often need to take refuge in a quiet place or a darkened room? Do you react emotionally to music and art? Do you purposely avoid violent movies or images? Are you extra-sensitive to sounds, scents and tastes? Do you get flustered when people try to make you do too many things at once?
If you answered yes to any or most of these questions, it's possible you could be what Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., calls a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). In her book, The Highly Sensitive Person: How To Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, Dr. Aron provides insight into this trait and offers tips to help HSPs deal with a world that isn't always very sensitive to their needs.
HSPs are largely unacknowledged and often misunderstood. Many HSPs are labeled shy or introverted at an early age and pressed to be more outgoing. "Buck up" and "Don't be so sensitive" are phrases all too often heard by HSPs.
In fact, shyness and introversion are misnomers. You may really be quite outgoing and fearless, but your high-sensitivity requires you to keep a lower profile.
An HSP has an extra-sensitive nervous system that's easily over-stimulated and over-aroused. Dr. Aron writes, "What is moderately arousing for most people is highly arousing for HSPs." Dr. Aron estimates that 15-20% of the population falls into the highly sensitive category. She emphasizes that the trait is most likely inherited. If you think you might be an HSP, chances are that one or both of your parents are as well.
Though high sensitivity poses a challenge for HSPs and can make survival a bit harder, there are also many benefits. HSPs are generally:
Extremely conscientious
Good at deep concentration
Able to analyze their own process of thinking
Good at catching and avoiding errors
Good at holding still
Attuned to other people's moods and emotions
Creative thinkers
Able to learn without realizing they are learning
Able to process information at deep levels
Attracted to spiritual paths that help them find inner calm
Good at deep concentration
Able to analyze their own process of thinking
Good at catching and avoiding errors
Good at holding still
Attuned to other people's moods and emotions
Creative thinkers
Able to learn without realizing they are learning
Able to process information at deep levels
Attracted to spiritual paths that help them find inner calm
But HSPs are also slower to recover from stimulating experiences and can even "shut down" in crisis situations. When in a state of over-arousal HSPs generally do not perform at their best. It's necessary for HSPs to learn to be sensitive to
their own sensitivity.
Neutral Bliss
The best state for an HSP is a neutral one -- neither over-aroused nor under-aroused. Though HSPs must protect themselves and adopt healthy coping techniques, the solution is not one of absolute avoidance. When in an over-stimulating situation, some of these techniques can help HSPs cope:
If appropriate, physically remove yourself from the situation.
Try to remember similar situations you have dealt with successfully in the past. Pick out what is familiar and friendly in your current situation; shift your focus.
If appropriate, close your eyes to shut out some of the stimulation.
Take a break.
Try to remember similar situations you have dealt with successfully in the past. Pick out what is familiar and friendly in your current situation; shift your focus.
If appropriate, close your eyes to shut out some of the stimulation.
Take a break.
Venture outdoors.
Nature, fresh air and natural light can work wonders.
Drink a glass of water, walk near water, take bath, sit in a hot tub.
Drink a glass of water, walk near water, take bath, sit in a hot tub.
Water is soothing and relaxing.
Regulate your breathing and adjust your posture.
Get your body moving.
Regulate your breathing and adjust your posture.
Get your body moving.
Try some easy stretches.
Walk around the room.
Head to the bathroom just to take a short walk.
Repeat a phrase, mantra or prayer that you have come to associate with calm.
Repeat a phrase, mantra or prayer that you have come to associate with calm.
Watch your over-arousal from an objective standpoint. HSPs are generally very good at watching themselves. Place yourself outside of yourself. You can say things like, "This is a tough situation for her, but she'll feel better about it tomorrow."
Learn from your own experience.
Embrace yourself in the situation.
Embrace yourself in the situation.
Be gentle, forgiving.
If you still feel over-aroused, do not blame yourself.
Developing skills for handling over-arousal takes time.
Diversity
But what about the rest of us?
Are you saying we're all insensitive?
Absolutely not. There are plenty of people who wouldn't classify themselves as HSPs, but are loving, creative, sensitive people.
They are just rigged differently. There is a reason why the majority of the population falls into this category. They are the doctors, stockbrokers and fire fighters. In addition, there is a reason why we have HSPs. They are the counselors, teachers, editors, poets and spiritual guides.
It's essential for HSPs to be active participants in life, but they also need to know their limits. Whether it's a radio or the TV, sometimes turning the stimulus off is the best option. Situations that don't have an "Off" switch require your abundant creativity and presence of mind. Though being an HSP is challenging in today's fast-paced world, it's also a great blessing, allowing one to experience life on a very special, rewarding level.
***
Hello my name is Heather and I am a HSP.
It's something I have had to learn to deal with and at times control. I also find that because I am sensitive, I can over-react in anger, fear, and nasty-ness when I feel threatened...it's not pretty. I am still learning to cope with myself, but as I continue to embrace all the many parts of me, I find it's easier to deal with these issues as they arise; as in...in the moment. Also, not stuffing down any feeling, be it good or bad is something that helps too. If I encounter a "situation" and I am all ready overwhelmed...watch out...it's Heather-Pie all over the place. But if I live in the moment, good and bad...fully...then when things happen (as they always do) I find that it is so much easier to get through it with grace and grit.
So, I hope you all are having a great day, I am off to the studio...to do the art thing. Live well, and share your love today.
Heather
Support living artists
Buy some Art today
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Getting yourself out of that hole!
Feel like you're living the same bad day, over and over again? You're not alone. Sometimes life can start to feel a bit like the Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day. Every morning you rise, face the same people and inevitably, the same problems. But like Bill Murray's character, you can turn things around and start fresh by focusing on the real source of your angst: yourself.
Here are some tips for facing your shadow and embracing rebirth.
Step Outside
You'll never break the bad patterns in your life - and move on to happier, healthier days - if you don't take the first step toward change. Groundhogs spend all winter underground lazing around in a warm, dark, cozy nest. So why do they crawl out from their comfortable homes to what could be a cold, gray day? They do it because sometimes, just sometimes, they discover a bright blue, sunshine filled sky.
Just like a groundhog, you'll need to step outside of your comfort zone if you're really ready to make a change. Reconsider what's important in your life. Try something you've always wanted to try. Make a new friend. Push your limits. Instead of seeing each day as a repeat of the day before, imagine it as a new adventure waiting to unfold.
You'll never break the bad patterns in your life - and move on to happier, healthier days - if you don't take the first step toward change. Groundhogs spend all winter underground lazing around in a warm, dark, cozy nest. So why do they crawl out from their comfortable homes to what could be a cold, gray day? They do it because sometimes, just sometimes, they discover a bright blue, sunshine filled sky.
Just like a groundhog, you'll need to step outside of your comfort zone if you're really ready to make a change. Reconsider what's important in your life. Try something you've always wanted to try. Make a new friend. Push your limits. Instead of seeing each day as a repeat of the day before, imagine it as a new adventure waiting to unfold.
Face the Shadow
You can blame your parents, your finances, or your S.O., but at the end of the day, your life is your own. Regardless of where you are now or how you got there, it's important to take responsibility for your mistakes in the past - and find ways to avoid them in the future.
Like a groundhog facing his shadow, it's time to take stock of your life. Pay attention to the patterns in your life - and the emotions that caused you to create the patterns. If you always tend to date (or fall in love with) the same kind of (wrong) man/woman, ask yourself why. If you continually make the same mistakes at work, consider what's motivating those missteps. If you're not sure where to begin, consider talking with a trusted friend, a counselor or coach.
You can blame your parents, your finances, or your S.O., but at the end of the day, your life is your own. Regardless of where you are now or how you got there, it's important to take responsibility for your mistakes in the past - and find ways to avoid them in the future.
Like a groundhog facing his shadow, it's time to take stock of your life. Pay attention to the patterns in your life - and the emotions that caused you to create the patterns. If you always tend to date (or fall in love with) the same kind of (wrong) man/woman, ask yourself why. If you continually make the same mistakes at work, consider what's motivating those missteps. If you're not sure where to begin, consider talking with a trusted friend, a counselor or coach.
Make Your Move
After you've confronted your shadow, it's time to make a move. Depending on what you discover about yourself, you may be scared, confused and tempted to dig back into your hole (like a groundhog facing six more weeks of winter) and stay underground for a while. But now is not the time to hide!
If you can't seem to break negative cycles with your life-partner, consider taking a break from him/her. If you're not moving forward professionally, start planning the move to your next position. Even though these risks are scary, taking them is the first step in beginning the rest of your life. Without risk, there is no promise of something better!
So, pop your head out of your hole, put your face to the sun and start a new day - today and every day after it.
After you've confronted your shadow, it's time to make a move. Depending on what you discover about yourself, you may be scared, confused and tempted to dig back into your hole (like a groundhog facing six more weeks of winter) and stay underground for a while. But now is not the time to hide!
If you can't seem to break negative cycles with your life-partner, consider taking a break from him/her. If you're not moving forward professionally, start planning the move to your next position. Even though these risks are scary, taking them is the first step in beginning the rest of your life. Without risk, there is no promise of something better!
So, pop your head out of your hole, put your face to the sun and start a new day - today and every day after it.
***
Live, Live, Live!
And have a great and sunny day.
Heather
http://www.badkittyartstudio.com
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Winner Thinking 101~ To Risk or Not to Risk~
Time to Risk More?
(Note to reader: As always, of course you need to be willing to take all consequences of your actions.)
100 people aged 100 were asked:
(Note to reader: As always, of course you need to be willing to take all consequences of your actions.)
100 people aged 100 were asked:
“What do you regret most? What would you do differently?”
The majority answered: “I wish I had risked more”.
The majority answered: “I wish I had risked more”.
We regret the things we don't do, far more than the things we do.
Fear STOPS us living.
We get a sense of security.... which can be upset at any moment anyway. Control is an illusion - we can't control events.
So it’s a sad joke on us humans that the people who try hardest to live in their comfort zones get upset the most.
Once we accept that we can’t control life,
Once we accept that we can’t control life,
and that comfort is not very fulfilling,
we are free to risk.
What can happen?
Rejection, moving into a smaller home,
losing our partner, breaking an arm, losing a job we like etc.
But above all we fear looking silly, foolish, or failing at something.
What would your life be like if for the past
10 years you had lived without fear?
What if life is a game, and we've forgotten?
What if life is a game, and we've forgotten?
We attach significance to everything
- no I can't ask her out because XXXX,
I shouldn't apply for that job -
I wouldn't get it.
I'm not going to take singing lessons - I'm not any good.
If you feel you are at risk of regretting
If you feel you are at risk of regretting
not fully living your life
when you lie on your death bed,
I invite you to complete the following exercise:
Optional Exercise:
Write down three areas where you play it safe.
Pick one area where you are willing to risk more.
Play a bigger game.
Live LIFE!
Is it dating?
Communication - telling the truth ALWAYS!
Going on a holiday - backpacking through South America?
Making a commitment - moving in/marriage?
LEAVING a relationship!!?
Pick one, and share it with a friend.
***
Top Ten Suggestions To Risk More
(Note to reader:
(Note to reader:
As always,
of course you need to be willing
to take all consequences of your actions.)
1) Tell the truth, regardless of the consequences
2) Say ‘no’ when you feel ‘no’
3) Ask for what you want in your job (e.g. location, pay rise)
4) Go for the job you REALLY want
5) Ask out that guy/girl you REALLY want to go out with
6) Ask for something you REALLY want in your relationship.
7) Move to where you REALLY want to live
8) Say ‘yes’ to something with an uncertain outcome.
9) Book an adventure outside your comfort zone
(e.g. horse riding, white water rafting, sky diving, sailing.)
10) Be vulnerable to someone you’re arguing/in conflict with.
~ "David Wood is a personal and business coach, and an original founder of the International Coach Academy - a global coach training school"
Copyright 2001-2004 Life Coaching Resource.com
Copyright 2001-2004 Life Coaching Resource.com
***
These Questions and Answers
can change your entire life today,
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Here's to your best you today,
Heather
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Power Truth, and the power of Truth
http://www.evolutionaryawareness.com/blog/2006/02/14/quantum-relating-from-conflict-to-synergy/
The truth, contrary to the Platonic view of love, is that there is no “other half” for us to find or be completed by. And to paraphrase Nathaniel Branden, until one is completely at ease with the truth that they are ultimately alone are they ready for healthy romantic love.
To Share in brief, this is a great example of what we as a family and as individuals are doing NOW.
Here's the part that I thought really needed sharing now: So here's the clip, do go to the page link above to read the entire article.
Telling the Truth
Telling the truth is not just about not lying. It is about honoring yourself—expressing what you truly want. It is about saying what is there for you—what is in the space between you when you look at the other person. “Of course!” You may say. But we stop short all the time, don’t we? Or we share irresponsibly by blaming and shaming. We do this for several reasons:
1. Fear [that the other person will not like us, leave us, that we will not be liked, etc]
Telling the truth is not just about not lying. It is about honoring yourself—expressing what you truly want. It is about saying what is there for you—what is in the space between you when you look at the other person. “Of course!” You may say. But we stop short all the time, don’t we? Or we share irresponsibly by blaming and shaming. We do this for several reasons:
1. Fear [that the other person will not like us, leave us, that we will not be liked, etc]
2. Fear that the other will respond in a way that we do not want to deal with [shame, upset, etc—essentially their inability to “hear” our truth]
3. Attachment to the Other or to the relationship and being identified with it as the “I”—feeding in on 1 and 2 above4. While 2 is a real and valid fear that can be verified in our experience with the person we are in relationship with, numbers one and three are due to a lack of a healthily developed ego which can certainly be overcome.
5. We blame and shame for an often hollow and short term “self-esteem” boost. Not really esteem for the self at all—but pre-rational ego where we indulge in superiority or go for that pound of flesh or that pint of blood. To extract payment for “wrongs” and lose all graciousness and openness. In the end, this is a lose-lose approach.
As in all things related to evolution, it is not a question of whether we experience the above or not—but rather to what degree.
As in all things related to evolution, it is not a question of whether we experience the above or not—but rather to what degree.
What is fundamentally necessary for telling the truth is our ability to witness our sensations and emotions as well as meta-cognition—that is thinking about our thinking or about our own process. It is these skills of self-observation that allow us to notice when we have internal dissonance and to notice how telling the truth typically relieves that tension. We can also share “responsibly”. That is we can say “I am noticing I am…” upset, etc. rather than the irresponsible “you upset me”, etc.
Additionally, the acceptance that there is no true “one” for us assists in relieving the attachment once noticed. That there are many and that each relationship we have will be deeper and richer for so long as we are conscious and consciously evolving we are attaining greater depths. As a result, we can reflect back greater depths. As a result we have deeper and richer relating. We often also confuse qualities that we love for the people—collapsing qualities with identity.
The truth, contrary to the Platonic view of love, is that there is no “other half” for us to find or be completed by. And to paraphrase Nathaniel Branden, until one is completely at ease with the truth that they are ultimately alone are they ready for healthy romantic love.
Learn !
Be Well,
Heather
Monday, July 03, 2006
BAD! Kitty ART SALE!!!! Liquidation to Goal!
http://www.badkittyarstudio.blogspot.com
I must sell 45 works in 30 days, can I do it?
Let's see? Check it out and see if I meet my goal.
Heather
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